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Nevermind about Bradley not contacting me.

He called me this afternoon and I may have, more than likely, gotten the internship, so...

yay!?

A moment of elation.

I am in the journalism lab right now, having my down time during the day (taking an aide period was an extremely good idea) and I am quite elated.

For one thing, this long week is almost over, I have nothing major to do for tomorrow, the worst part of my stats final is over with, tomorrow is Mayhem, and in 2 weeks I will basically be done with high school (yay AP classes)!

Anyways, Jostens, the evil company who tries to sell us class rings for 200 bucks, is here today delivering caps and gowns. I specifically remember being IN THE HOSPITAL meaning NOWHERE EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO THE SCHOOL during the week that students were ordering these graduation materials, so I've been feeling slightly high-strung and sad today about not receiving my cap and gown along with the other seniors and hoping that there was still time for me to place an order.

I head down to the room allocated to Jostens for the day and explain my situation and ask what the best way to go about ordering these mandatory things would be. She asks for my name, just to make sure I'm not listed and low and behold: "Kelly Rose?"

"Oh, uh, yes...Johnson...Kelly Rose Stroot Johnson?"

"Yup, a cap and gown. You owe $37.95"

"OH! well, my money's back there, er, in the room ICANGOGETITANDCOMERIGHTBACK!"

"okay"

As I'm walking away: "yeah, my name's Kelly Rose Stroot Johnson so..."

"okay, yeah"

I now own my very own graduation gown, cap, and tassel. This is finally happening, and though I can't think about about my college as I throw my cap in the air as celebration, I've still made it through with an overabundance of credit and, more importantly, a plethora of experiences.

Besides my speaking like an idiot to the Jostens lady and the killer, Question 6 in stats, todays been pretty awesome.

That's all, though. That's my moment of elation.

Negative side of this post: Bradley has still not gotten back to me. It's been around 2 weeks and I've already sent him a reminder e-mail essentially saying "hey! don't forget about me! I still wanna do the internship!"

So, I'm hoping he's just on a nice vacation somewhere where he can't check his e-mail. Like a cruise. With WARM MELTING CHOCOLATE CAKE!

That will be my next post: how to make warm melting chocolate cake. Pics included.

I'm seriously done writing for now. CIAO

Waiting...

So, I've sent off my cover letter and resume' to Holton Farms, hoping for an internship with them for a semester so I can learn and live organic farming while also becoming a part of the "food justice" movement.

Why is this out-of-nowhere-idea a good idea?

-I actually really enjoy being outside, if the evils of the electronic 21st century didn't exist I may've been a happier teenager, gettin' all that serotonin! If only I didn't get sunburnt...

-HEALTHY LIVING! Seriously, I'll be doing manual labor (most likely) pretty much every day which ill work me into shape because, really guys, I am OUT OF SHAPE (I wish there was another phrase for that, because you can't tell by my shape that i'm "out of shape," it all has to do with my stamina and ability to move around for long periods of time).

I would be living in a place where, instead of giving you much pay for your work, they give you free veggies. Now that's a good deal and will certainly make my doctor happy.

Because of the work schedule I anticipate, I assume that I'd be waking with the sun. And since I probably won't be working with many-if any-people my age, I won't have a whole lot to do in the evening, meaning I'll be able to sleep with the sun too! This, I hear, is extremely refreshing!

-I will be away, secluded, no escape. This can, indeed, be translated into a positive. Although I am a little nervous about feeling alone and bored (though I may be completely wrong...maybe there will be other young people or, ya know, I can make friends with adults), I figure it what I've been wishing for through most of high school-having down time. I can read lots and lots, I can study anything I want to and learn at my own pace, I can finally know what it is to enjoy the natural day. I'll also feel as though I've earned my sleep at the end of the day. It will be a really nice refresher after the fast-paced cramming, late nights, yadda yadda of high school. Though I'm not saying this will be a BREEZE, since as I mentioned before-farming isn't easy work.

-I'll be exploring an interest of mine. Let's say anything can happen. I may fall completely in love with it and finally know what I want to do, what my life's calling is. And if it's not? I've got a new 100% useful skill so I can hopefully become at least a subsistence farmer in the future. I would reduce my carbon footprint that way, and it'd be cheaper and yummier!

-I'd be off, out of KY, on my own, learning independence! I'd get to learn about my new, adult self, see what I'm like.

-They focus on food justice. 'nuff said.

-I'm sure there are many more, but hopefully I've convinced you by now that this isn't a completely radically wrong decision.

I've also spoken to one of the guys from the farm (idk his position, actually, but he's the one I sent my stuff to), Bradley. He seems quite nice, and also seems to think I fit most of the description of what they're looking for, which is good. But he's not the one who makes the decision.

Anyways, here's the main correspondence I've had with Bradley:

B:Remind me, do you have any farming experience? Why do you want to work on a farm? What particular aspect are you interested in? Would you be cool living in a shared house with our male workers (you'd have your own room), and working for a very small stipend and free vegetables?

K:My farming experience consists mainly of my work in the Galapagos Islands, planting trees, pulling weeds, excavating vines from the islands natural vegetation, etc.... I also help my parents on occasion with landscaping our front yard. This consists of many things including planting, weeding, spreading mulch, etc.... Unfortunately these are my only experiences that are close to working on a farm, however I do believe that I'm quick to learn, and the Galapagos trip expanded my love of farming, and the love usually comes before the skill, especially at my young age.

I'm going to graduate high school in two months and be forced to find something I'm good at that I also enjoy. I figured I'd take a gap year to explore my interests and decided that farming, an interest that was planted in me last summer in the Galapagos, especially organic farming, was definitely an interest i wanted to explore. Not only do I want to learn about the base that our food comes from, I also believe that with the way our world's future seems to be looking, farming, either subsistence or for bigger business, will become a necessary and nature-friendly way to survive.

I'm more interested in the actual hands-on farming aspect since I very much enjoy being outdoors and doing manual labor is immediately rewarding for me. However, as i said in my cover letter, I'm completely flexible and since my interests are not 100% set I will be happy to work wherever I am needed. I'm at the stage in my life where trying new things is nothing but an excitement--I'm hoping that never goes away--so if I'm set in Vermont or NY, both would be new experiences and I would be happy.

Certainly. I have a good deal of work experience in which I deal with many different personality types, and I feel comfortable with almost any living condition. I have a male exchange student from Germany that stays in the room next to me, and although some were weary of the fact that he was male, I felt comfortable in my own room and everything was fine. Free Veggies? That makes up for a small stipend any day! So yes, I'm perfectly okay with that as well.

Hope this helps and isn't too terribly verbose,

Kelly

So that's about it. He asked if I could come up for a visit, however idk if I can swing that so I'll probably end up doing a phone interview at some point. There also may be a glitch with my age since I don't turn 18 until July that may be a problem, but he said he's looking into it. I'll keep you guys updated. I'm hoping I get this, but I still have a lot of factors against me so I'm not betting my life on it. There are always other options.

That's where I am on Gap Year stuff...waiting.

p.s. for 2nd semester I'm looking at either (my original plan) going abroad somehow cheaplyish, preferably with other kids my age that I could get along with OR finding a film school/long term workshop... something in that realm. My thoughts has always been projected through my brain as though they were part of a movie, so maybe it's time I delve into that possible passion.

I want to find the dragons

I've searched tons and tons of summer programs, gap year programs, 2 week programs, etc etc and none of them have even come close to sparking my interest like where there be dragons. Unfortunately the cost is way outside of my price range.

www.wheretherebedragons.com

Is this possible for me?

Galapagos reflection (old)

Reflection by GLA Student Kelly August 5, 2010
"I am not entirely sure what to expect, but whatever this trip ends up being I'm sure it will be interesting." This excerpt from my GLA journal sums up most of our begining feelings about the trip: curious, expectant, unsure; however, these two weeks in the Galapagos, Ecuador have turned out to be much more than interesting, so much more that mere words can hardly do it justice. The journey encompassed facing our fears, meeting new people, and experiencing different cultures. From those afraid of heights being able to jump off of 20 foot cliffs to people even in fear of not bathing for 4 days, we all faced and conquered difficult tasks. The beautiful Galapagos Islands will always plead our return as it holds many fond memories and life-altering experiences.

Thankful (old)

Way to go mom, it's been 5 years since that Friday in September.

So, a month or so ago Julie comes up to me and asks: "What are you thankful for?" as a question for the newspaper. I stutter as I normally do with questions that are on the record, and come up with the word friends. I mean, it's simple right? Friends are cool, they give you something to look forward to, to keep your day going. But the problem was I couldn't think of anything else. The other answers I heard around me were great, like music and family, but is that really all I'm thankful for? The basics? I'm not complaining, I'm definitely grateful for such things, but while trying to answer that question it occurred to me that I couldn't think of much of anything that I was thankful for.

My earlier blog that I wrote a few weeks ago dealt with my feelings on the Holidays and what they are like now, as I get older. Sure, it was a bit overdramatic but the fact still stands that things in my life are changing and I am getting older, but looking back on that I think, am I being selfish? "I can't be thankful for what I have, I need more." That's something I look down upon, so it upset me.

Today in health we talked about Cancer, and eventually got to the subject of breast cancer. Mrs. Correa explained that doctors may have to do a mastectomy (removal of the breast) in order to get rid of the malignant tumor. She phrased it as we either take the breast, or it's your life. This brought me back to last fall, when that was the choice my own mother had to make, and with that memory came a few tears that I tried desperately to cover up during class. But why am I crying? Look at what I have, what I have to be thankful for.

I get a message from Zach, asking what I'm doing for Thanksgiving, and I start to explain that it's going to be the same boring, "wake up and watch the parade, eat turkey… or game hens, and just be with my parents, bored." Then I heard my mom in my head, saying that no matter what this Thanksgiving was obviously going to be better than last year, because last year she had no appetite because of the chemo. I typed that out to him, and when I read over the message realized what I should have said that day when Julie came up and asked, "What are you thankful for?"

Here's what I'm really thankful for. I'm thankful, yes, for my friends, music, family, the food, etc… But I'm so massively thankful for the good health of my family, namely my mom, the survivor. One Friday in September I found out my mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer, the road ahead was bumpy and the future seemed so morbid. After they performed the mastectomy she was started on chemo, which was hard for her and my family. Her loss of energy and her change of appearance was a constant reminder that there was still a long road ahead, or maybe just a short road with a dead end. Nothing was for sure. She kept persisting though, and kept strong through it all. She still went into work more often than she needed (and probably should've) and was stronger than any I've seen. I think she had to have something that seemed normal, and going to work was definitely something usual, something normal to her. Unfortunately though, one of her chemo rounds was scheduled quite close to Thanksgiving, and her loss of appetite and strength made for a depressing holiday. She tried hard though, to make it normal, for me and my dad. She's so selfless and so strong. She made it through the surgery, the chemo, the radiation, the loss of strength, the hair loss, the agony of never knowing. She's still here today, healthy, ready for another, non-chemo Thanksgiving. Her journey was one I don't know if I could've made. She's so strong, I look up to her with such idolizing eyes. I love her more than most can know, and look back on that Friday, that started it all, and think, "what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger!" It's true.

I'm thankful for the good health of Cadence, Kate, My father, James, and my Grandparents. And I'm thankful for My Mom. The one whose strength kept her going, the one whose love is unconditional, the one who never gave up. And the one who made it through that long journey, that's still standing here today, healthy and amazing.

I Love you Mom.

I'm thankful for you.

And to change, since I wrote this my Grandfather, Ed, passed away this past October. He was taken by a very agressive cancer almost certainly caused by agent orange (used during the vietnam war-joining to my other note of hating war), and we all miss him dearly.
I'm thankful for him, too. That he took care of my grandma and father after an original loss. That he did love and the way in which he did so. And every quiet, happy memory I have of him.
I Love you too, Grandpa Ed.

Teenagers scare the living shit out of me (old)

These are not the best days of our lives, they are the hardest.
That alone should give us all some hope...that even though these years are, for lack of a better word, shitty, it can only get better.

But right now we're too old to hide, yet there's nowhere to run.
We're told to enjoy these years, "you're only young once-ya know", but we are also told to take care of our ocean of responsibilites. And to balance both is a skill we have yet to fully grasp.
We're told not to give in to peer pressure, but that 'pressure is never clearly defined.
Is the pressure in the drugs, the sexuality, the alcohol?
Is the pressure not to do your homework, to DO your homework?
Is the pressure to speak what you think, or is it to just listen?
Is the pressure to beleive in one-or many, or to deny all belief?
Is the pressure to be skinny, to be fat, to be athletic, to be artistic?
Is the pressure to be happy, to love, to be sad, to take pills, to use a knife?
Is the pressure to deal with you're pain, to laugh it away, to hide it, to slice it away?
Is the pressure to be real, or to just accept that we're dying. Always.?
-Define it for us, then maybe we'll listen.
We're forced into a pool of sexuality. Where the blood runs for the girls who are "smart", and doesn't for the girls who are "irresponsible". Where everyone at some point, feels alone-then rushed to love. Where rules are broken when girls kiss boys, girls kiss girls, boys kiss boys, and boys kiss girls. Where heart-fluttering spin the bottle is out, and hardcore making out is in. Sex happens here. Sex happens now. Too early. Too late. Everyone's onfused and answers are not even in existence.
Right now we sometimes can't find reasons to follow the rules adults set, yet we're still forced to follow them.
Rebellion breaks out, but if caught we're broken down.
We're reminded, over and over and over, about college and that it's all we must focus on, for that is our future.
We're forced to put our health, our sanity on the backburner while school takes over. We often get more pressure from our teachers than our peers. But both combined...is relentless.
Days pass in minutes, and half of us wants to slow down while the other half wants to skip everything, for this is way too difficult to fathom. For anyone to fathom.
We say fuck because we can, and because our parents don't want us to.
Our leashes are long, but we're still tied up.
We can make it to the edge, but can't jump over. We can't leap into a different world and try to fly...even though that's all we want to do.

“High school, those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.”
-Little Miss Sunshine