A Moment.

I don't know how one can feel so good and yet so bad at the same time... in the same instant!

Take the song Hallelujah for instance:

It is so empowering, yet so personally sad all in just 4 minutes.

I also don't understand how one moment everything can be fine and then in an instant it's gone and the thoughts that once made you happy now fill you with debilitating pain. Such as what happened with Cinnamon. Your life will never be the same, truly. Time may heal, and attempt to make you forget that pain. But the truth is, those thoughts will never be as happy; they'll never exist without a smidgen of nostalgia. A hint of pain.

And what's worse is happiness is never as long-lasting. You may get a promotion, win a race, or even get married. But that burst of pure happiness that occurs never lasts. And eventually even those happy thoughts are thought on with nostalgia, for what was and what could've been, for that unadulterated feeling.

Then there's love. That nobody understands. And that's what sucks. Because we all think we understand. And perhaps we do, in our own way. To you love is blind. To her love is fluttery. To him love is safe. To me love is calculated.

There's the problem. Because we each define it in our own individual way, no one else, not even the ones we love, can fully understand what we see, feel... what we understand as love.

So when somebody who loves needs space from said love, many may find it alarming, as though that somebody is running away from that love, but in their eyes it may just be strengthening it. Perhaps strengthening themselves so they can take on that incredible emotion, head first, and enjoy it.

And then there's the opposite. There's the "clingy," those that want nothing but to be with their loves as often as possible. Many may find it alarming, as though that somebody is smothering that love. Giving in too much. But in their eyes it may just be strengthening it. Perhaps becoming vulnerable to that incredible emotion, completely, so they can enjoy it.

Since we only live once (though I hope I am wrong about that. Reincarnation is my friend) we have to enjoy it. We will do everything we can to enjoy it.

To enjoy this fuck of a life.