We all probably go through this same shit. But most people don't have public outlets that they can manipulate to fuck the world. But we shame them. We spend more time judging them than we do the people who are living near us and beating their dogs.
"Oh they are such bad influences on our children!" Yeah, because without seeing these people acting out, your angelic kids would never be inclined to do anything stupid, outrageous, against your/their morals.... WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN? This world is chaos. That's it. And yet we spend excessive amounts of energy attempting to swat, stamp, squash and shelter the crazy out of it–out of ourselves, out of our fellows, out of our entertainment, out of our schools, out of our world... la la la la, and on and on.
If I had a way to fuck things up publicly hell yeah I'd do it. I'd get drunk and put on a horrendous show to make the mouths of the 'sane' gape. Or I might punch some paparazzi while simultaneously shaving my head into small squares of hair. At least I could show the youngins (and the not youngins) that going off-the-edge isn't something unique to them. When they feel themselves going crazy, at least they could look to me and somehow feel less crazy. Unfortunately, we shame these acts (I have) for the betterment of... what exactly? Sure, society may crumble a little if we allow some insanity, acknowledge that all this living is chaos...or it might improve it, I don't know. It's a gamble but that's. the. point.
I will live. I will have moments of peace where I can focus and read and produce. I will have other moments where I just want things to get fucked up–throw things through windows, run naked through a beehive, spray some cops with water-guns, whatever. In those moments I will think of Miley or Britney, Charlie Sheen and feel not quite so alone. Keep on twerkin', Miley.
I am a tiny fissure in this rupture of the world. keep me sane and I will go insane, let me be insane and I will feel goooood.
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