"if you yourself are not a safe place for you... then you will never feel comfortable and you will never move forward."
–Life lessons that pop into my head that I swear I'll live by but disagree with a month later
Once, I found out a fellow peer of my generation thought me to be vapid. It stung, a lot, even though in my soul of souls I knew it was not true. They had a special disgust for the way I was living my life, especially when my mother was sick and dying–vapid, distasteful, disrespectful, uncaring, unfeeling and
DAMN I can tell you, as a certainty, there was no moment of unfeeling in that section of my life, not one millisecond.
However,
it burrows deeper into my consciousness, feeding the insurmountable regret I already contend with–the special kind reserved only for those who've lost their loves. . .
"I should have, I cannot! It shall never be; there are no more chances."
Standing up, I throw the truth at it: The regret is something only you carry
None of that is true, none of it is you
Their opinions on YOU are made of horse-shit.
But these words are so strong. I feebly sit down again. The foul opinions and harsh judgements wash over me. Again, I am slumped.
Foolish human, did you ever think yourself so cruel?
I pledge henceforth (and have been practicing months prior) to judge not another soul in a hurtful manner.
'Tis a constant struggle. A daily fail. But I vow to be conscious. I vow not to sling more unneeded pain into another's life.
"Don't let the opinions of others get you down!"
I know I should not listen.
I know we should be stronger.
But... we're all not strong sometimes.
give a little wiggle room
P.S.
My hypnotherapist told me I should add "PS. I'm not going to kill myself" to the end of my blog posts so that I don't feel a need to create a false positive twist for certain readers. While it may not apply with this particular post, I feel I must get in the habit.
P.P.S
I'm not going to kill myself.
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