Warm Melting Chocolate Cake

Remember, back in April 2011 when I said my next post was going to be on how to make warm melting chocolate cake (http://crazedandinexperienced.blogspot.com/2011/04/moment-of-elation.html) ?

Well, here is it! Just about 10 months late, but hey, at least I remembered.

So you start with this:

yes, if you wanna make it right you must listen to John Coltrane & Johnny Hartman, or any other smooth jazz artist of your choice. ;)

8 oz of semisweet chocolate (I recommend Ghiradelli 70% cacao)

1 C (2 sticks) butter

7 eggs

6 tablespoons of sugar

1/2 C flour

1. Preheat the oven hi broil. Now, this is for the carnival cruise warm melting chocolate cake, meaning we're going for only the top being hard, the bottom and sides are still gooey chocolate. If you want to make a molten chocolate cake, where only the very center is gooey chocolate, follow this same recipe except preheat the oven to 400.

2. Melt the butter and chocolate together. Let cool.

3. In a separate bowl, mix 4 eggs with sugar and whisk. Then add the flour, whisk. Add the last 3 eggs, whisk. Finally, add the chocolate/butter mixture and whisk.

4. Butter the ramekins! This is fun, as you get to play with butter. Take a dollop of butter in your fingers and go at it.

5. Pour batter into individual ramekins, fill about 1/2-3/4 way full.

6. Place ramekins into the oven and nuke em! i.e. watch em closely. As soon as the tops of the cakes start to harden, about 3-7 mins, remove from the oven. Let sit for a couple minutes, just long enough to be able to touch the ramekin without burning yourself.

7. Serve immediately. Tastes best with some vanilla ice cream on the side.

Enjoy!

This recipe fills about 7-8 ramekins.

P.E.R.S.E.V.E.R.A.N.C.E

It took me about a year to perfect this recipe and get only the top to be hardened. But I persisted and I prevailed! muaha!

Sex. For my Eardrums.

That would be jazz, my friends. I'm not entirely sure why, but I've grown up with this propensity for loving the sweet sounds of smooth jazz, and often times, not-so-smooth jazz as well. I believe it may have been instilled in me while I was growing up since NPR would always play it in the evenings and so it became associated with that calm time of day.

Within that, I've also always had a particular sweet spot for the saxophone. Strangely, I've never felt a huge desire to learn it, I just enjoy watching while someone else plays. And perhaps this is one of my few sexist thoughts, but a sax, to me, is really a man's instrument. Not that a woman can't play it–but I just don't associate the two. This love was, I believe, planted back on one of my birthdays when I went to the Hilton hotel in Nashville and I'd sit next to my window and watch the man in the lobby go at it with his sax. There was nothing I enjoyed more.

Sadly, though, I know very little about the genre and only have one jazz CD! Apparently, I prefer to let it just pop into my life rather than actively seeking it, at least that is what it would seem from my lack of readily available music. That, I want to change.

If you've got CD's or songs you'd like to share with me, please do so, I would much appreciate it.

I was simply born in the wrong era..

Oscar-prompted-post

I've always considered myself a movie buff, yet recently I've felt very detached while watching movies. I first noticed it while I was at Hendrix, and I assumed it was just because I was too stimulated by other things to really settle down and focus on one thing. But when I came back home it was the same way. It fills me with discomfort, this new development of not being able to connect emotionally with the films.

I've never experienced this before, and I'm hoping it's just a phase. That ability to really watch and feel films has been a part of me that I love. This hiatus is disconcerting.

And one of the women that helped create my attachment to films, Meryl Streep, just won her third Oscar!!

Tears did well, I kid you not. But I wasn't alive for her other academy award wins, so being able to watch her receive that award meant a lot to me.

So, in light of the emotionally wonky day I've had and her nomination, I am going to watch Mamma Mia!

I hope it leads to a reopening of that connection. Meryl's never let me down before!

The 12 days of Hendrix

There really is no way for me to summarize my time at this magnificent school, which is the way a vacation should be.

But it turned out to be more-mean more-to me than I could've ever expected. Honestly, what I imagined was getting to hang out with Alex and then while he was in class or busy, I would just read, write, or work on gathering info for New Zealand. Oh, was I wrong wrong wrong.

Hendrix quickly became home. I made a significant number of friends, all with very different and very enthusiastic personalities who I miss dearly. I wish I didn't have to leave...that I could've just stayed there until I had to take off for New Zealand. Alas, I couldn't overstay my welcome. And I knew, no matter how often my friends would say STAY STAY STAY-I would become a burden after another week. They did have to pay for my meals, after all.

It's crazy to think that before I went there I was nearly set on Eckerd, now it is the opposite. Of course, there's still a good chance I'll end up down south, if they give me an equal amount of money to attend, but at least at this point, I know I'll be happy in either place.

But what did I do during my stay?

Well...

I, along with Matt and Alex, spilled 5 gallons of hard cider all over an on-campus apartment's kitchen and spent hours cleaning it up. I baked cookies from scratch on valentines day and then shared them with the students chilling in the lobby at 11 pm. I spent a morning in a park with Alex reading and deciphering poetry and then attended his poetry class that afternoon. I also attended Thomas's 375 Philosophy of Religion class-that was a good one! A bunch of friends and I went up to Matt's house and just had a chill day-some brewed, some watched movies, most slept. I met lots of incredibly nice and interesting people who's aspirations and down-to-earth values astounded me. I ate really good cafe food. I fell in love with cheesy bread!! I learned, more thoroughly, not to judge anyone based on appearance. I made pierogis from scratch in the dorm kitchen (that was kind of challenging). I pondered the life of a fish. I had an unexpected romance. I found a friend who never ceases to engage me in deep intellectual conversation. I went to an ABC party that was busted by the cops. I helped take care of a too-drunk prospie. I was a canvas for henna practice. I watched and enjoyed while friends delighted in their musical passions. I watched A Beautiful Mind. I spent an entire afternoon sitting in the sun, writing down my thoughts and pondering certain revelations, many related to my the results of my meyers briggs test (ENFP). I met a guy who took a gap year last year and spent 5 months in New Zealand. I shopped for an hour at a local flea market. I ate vietnamese with people I barely knew. I became part of the Hendrix community. I fell in love with the school.

... I also got sick.

The last two days I was there I was much more tired than usual and had a sore throat. But I didn't think much of it until the day after I got home when I woke up with a 101 fever and am still recovering.

That aside, it was a wonderful time. I miss being there, and am very much looking forward to next fall when I can go back, even if not there, then a similar place where I can make friends and meet more amazing people.

Since being there I've also gotten more into music. I sing more... or did until I lost my voice completely. I also practice piano everyday and asked my father to bring my drumset back, though I have yet to play it since I'm at a loss for headphones that fit the jack. What I'm really yearning for is a Ukulele...but that may have to wait until after New Zealand. Oh well. At least I'm finally pursuing some long-term hobbies, and I think this will stick.

Until next time-

I'm a college student!

Well, kinda.

But I've got my own bed, a couple of roommates, friends, readings I have to do (New Zealand stuff)...I am living the life (of a Hendrix college student)!

Clarity of Memories

Darkness brought a clarity of memories that I've never experienced.

As though my physical presence no longer existed and it was just my intangible thoughts bearing any kind of existence. I was not an age, simply a glimmer of feeling from a different time, looking into the future, the now-present future.

Nothing made sense.

Everything made sense.

But it all disappeared when the lights came back on.

The Honeysuckles are in Full Bloom

Why doesn't everyone revel in that??

How can one just pass by without a pause to let the senses totally succumb?

Fear of vulnerability, I guess.

As I was driving to the store today, a curiosity popped into my head: when do people stop trying to enjoy most every moment in their life?

I had my music up loud, the bass making the windows vibrate; my fingers tapped the steering wheel as my shoulders and head bobbed in time; my voice mumbling the unknown words until the chorus came and I could shout every line.

With a quick glance around me (at a red light!), I realized I was the only one immersed in any sort of moment... everyone else faced forward, expressionless, seemingly emotionless. As if this daily routine had beaten them into submission, they were no longer in charge of their everyday tasks, the everyday tasks were in charge of them.

It's so simple, though, to make even the chores somewhat entertaining with music. It's one of life's blessings, that and the smell of honeysuckle.

So when does it stop, and why? Is it something you grow out of with age? Is it because it's reckless to listen to loud music while driving and as you gain years you realize recklessness isn't worth the fun? I vow to never stop trying to have fun, no matter my age. I'll be an 80 year old still listening to LMFAO bumpin down the street in my little red car! (Ok, so maybe this fantasy won't be totally accurate, but I'll strive for it.)

One speculation I had was that perhaps it was the trap of contentment. Nothing's really wrong in your life, and you're definitely not unhappy, so you just don't strive for much else. It isn't that you actively avoid being happier, you just don't realize you need to be reaching for something better.

My personal experience with this was being in a long-term relationship. I was so... content. I didn't think I really wanted or needed much else because everyday I was happy with how things were. It wasn't until after that relationship ended that I really had to push myself and find other ways to make myself enjoy life. And that search revolved only around me, who I am. It doesn't rely on anyone else, which makes the rewards that much better. I can say that I'm happier now than I ever was while in the relationship (excluding the first couple of months), again, not that I was unhappy, I was just too damn content! And I do not believe it was the relationships fault, I just let myself fall into the trap of contentment that is provided. I now know more about my self and what I will do in future long-term relationships so that I do not fall victim to the same fate.

But I think that's what everyone has to do. They have to overcome the routines, whatever those may be, and find the fun within themselves and bring it out. With the abundance of sensory overloads in this world, it shouldn't be TOO hard. ;)

Hendrix: the decision gets tougher

Stars and glitter and excitement!

That's what I saw when I opened my Hendrix folder after waiting eagerly by the door for the mail to arrive. Which it didn't until 5pm. That is uncharacteristically late... I think the fates were messing with me, watching me squirm.

Anyway, here's the big reveal!

I was accepted to Hendrix! (whoo, big surprise there, I know)

But my scholarship awards are as follows:

Academic Scholarship for 19000 per year, amounting to a total of 76000 after 4 years.

Odyssey Distinction Award for 5000 a year, amounting to a total of 20000 after 4 years.

So in total, I would be given $24000 per year! Which is quite the honor. But of course, tuition is still roughly 34500 a year.

I now have to wait for them to process the FAFSA and see how much financial aid I'm eligible for.

As if the fates also know how hard my decision already is, along with my Hendrix folder three pieces of mail from Eckerd came as well.

An invitation to the prospective students visit days. And two postcards.

From my admissions counselor:

"It was great meeting you and your mom during your Eckerd visit! Have a blast in New Zealand! Hope to see you on campus in the fall."

From my tour guide, Taylor (who I'm a little in love with):

"Kelly, I hope you enjoyed the tour as much as I did! Hopefully Kentucky isn't too cold? Feel free to email me with any questions you may have at ----@eckerd.edu"

I'm certain these postcards are standard for all visitors, but still, it's a really nice gesture that says good things about the school. Plus, for the past week I've been trying to find a current Eckerd student to talk to, but couldn't find anyone to email. Now you can be sure I'll be emailing Taylor with plenty more questions! haha. Poor kid, he doesn't know what he's gotten himself into. :p

Hendrix v.s. Eckerd. 24000 v.s. 16000. Mountains v.s. Beach. Me v.s. Who I Want to Be.

Honestly, though. Why does college cost so damn much? Knowledge should be FREE!

And one other fun update, I have my backpack for New Zealand! It's huge. As tall as me if it sits next to me, so I'm sure I'll struggle with some 'turtle on its back' syndrome.

The best part? It cost us nothing! I have to thank my dear friend Ellie who is letting me borrow it. Ellie is heading to Nepal tomorrow. I will miss her so much! Can't wait to share adventures when I come back in July.

Strange to think about how much will be different by July. My next four years will be somewhat planned... which makes me more uneasy than comforted. I enjoy planning as I go, being locked into something for any large length of time makes me nervous. I will have close to 5 months of individual world travel under my belt, I'll probably have new friends around the globe, most of my current friends will be sophomores, and I'll be 19!

Let the adventures and decisions begin!

P.S. ALAN RICKMAN! I SAW HIM! Seminar. NYC

Eckerd

Tears actually welled as I sat to dinner in St. Petersburg, reflecting on my day visiting Eckerd College. I loved it that much.

They say you have "the feeling," and I think I got it. I could actually see myself there, thriving, enjoying, enhancing my life.

It wasn't just that the campus was located on a bay, because, let's be honest, the "beach" they speak of is so small it hardly counts (to explain, they're on a large bay, so the bay is huge, but the actual area on the bay, with sand, is pretty tiny. There's also the waterfront, though, and that's the area where all the action happens.) It was just a feeling.

sail team in the distance

All of my fears about the school were completely allayed after my visit. Everyone I met there was kind and enthusiastic about their school. Most students we passed yelled "come to Eckerd, it's amazing!" Whereas all the other schools I visited Fall 2010 had students that acted as though I was just a little kid. As though, because they were in college, they had no interest in anyone younger than them.

Our tour guide was really friendly and honest. He put up with all my questions. ALL of them. And there were a lot. Ranging from: "how's the manageability of the workload" to "do students here walk around barefoot often?" And he talked about more than just the facilities... in fact he talked very little about the facilities, probably because the facilities are kind of run down. But honestly, that gave me a weird good feeling too. I didn't like how the other colleges were so pristine... like the patches of grass seemed so calculated! It's hard to explain. I guess this campus felt more lived-in.

There were students riding on skateboards everywhere you looked, there were a bunch of different nationalities (our guide was even Hawaiian but lives in Chicago) and personalities walking around, the food was not bad, there was a ton of wildlife everywhere, tons of creative outlets randomly strewn throughout campus, fire-pits behind every dorm complex, plenty of activities, the professors doors were on the outsides of the buildings, it was a very outdoor campus, it was 10 mins from a large beach, 10 mins from downtown St. Petersburg...the list is endless.

Example of said wildlife.

example of said creative outlet

And one of the home-runs was that during this whole year I've been plagued with both the desire to go to a small liberal arts school, but also go to a school in the city... and those just didn't exist. At least, I thought they didn't. Eckerd is so close to St. Pete's I could bike there. And I love the city! It isn't overwhelmingly big and cramped like NYC. It's much more similar to Portland, except with a few more options for the under 21 crowd.

My mom and I ate at an organic food restaurant and it was delicious! Some of the best food I've had in awhile. And then we stopped to get some Gelato, which was also divine. The other neat thing, a characteristic of FL that I actually like, is that everything is outdoors. There is indoor seating, but the majority of people venture to the sidewalk, where there are chairs and tables all over. You walk down a block and you see all these places to eat on one side, and on the other, all these people sitting out, eating good food, havin a good time.

Also, while we were eating, one of my favorite Sufjan Stevens songs came on, and I knew the fates were trying to tell me something. ;)

I may have found my dream school, but I'll have to visit Hendrix first, to see if I get the same vibe from it.

And then, unfortunately, there are finances.

I was awarded Eckerd's highest scholarship: $16000 a year! It's an incredible honor! But that's still just a small chunk of just the tuition, which is set at around $32000.

This decision is not going to be easy...