As I Stand Here, Waiting

Lay me bare, Keep me honest.

I stand here in front of you, naked. Flesh exposed but body still withholding dreams and fears and lies; truth and disguise. How do I begin the conversation of the brutality of life? If I splay my guts on the floor, still you will not see. How do I capture the invisible, untouchable truth of being human so as to present it to you? I want to hold it in my hand for you to see and touch, recoil, cry and begin again. Not that I hold the answers. I simply hold a sliver of the questions.

These words are all I have and I try so hard to enlighten with them. There is strength in the written word, my most powerful tool. But still, it all falls short. I must practice, endlessly, to touch you with my phrases.

Discuss with me, the truth of being human. Hold nothing back. Fire into oblivion and eventually we may light a fire that burns by the invisible energy of life. Some may call it love. I will call it capture.

...
(distill)

In case you do not understand, let me translate.

I don't want to stand here, alone, pondering the eternal intricacies of life. It makes me feel forgotten, unworthy... like I am spewing nonsense into a void and people stand around watching, scratching their heads wondering why I am so crazy.

I want to discuss life with everyone. But not the small talk of life. Not what you ate this morning or how your day was. I want to talk with you about the possibilities and how they are infinite. I want to go down rabbit holes of thought. I want to find temporary answers or truths and be validated by your reception and connection.  I want to create avenues with you. Avenues that we believe have never before been created.

I don't want answers or advice. I just want discussion.

...
(distill further)

Or... fuck, I think what I am saying is I am lonely and I'm having all these ideas and feelings and no one to bounce it off of. At least, no one who seems to want to engage with it as overwhelmingly as I. I guess that is the simplest way of saying what I mean.