Back to the Begining

I've come full circle. This morning I arrived back in the Auckland airport after a very short (1 hr) flight that, unfortunately, included a 16 hour wait in the airport. S'all good though. I ended up having a pretty good time as I ran into an old friend from the packhouse who I hadn't seen since Kerikeri. She told me all about how she met Peter Jackson while we sat eating chocolate, and when I fell asleep she tucked me in with her jacket! I miss that type of generosity, you don't see it that often while backpacking, I'm sorry to say.

Anyway, when I arrived in Auckland I had so many flashbacks to March 11 when I first arrived in New Zealand. I was ecstatic at how different it was! My first arrival was horrid, exciting, yes, but overwhelmingly scary. It wasn't until I stepped off the plane that I realized how bizarre coming to NZ without a plan was; wasn't until I passed through customs that I understood why my parents had been so afraid; not until I realized how alone I was that I became inexplainably homesick. I remember you all telling me how brave I was, just taking this trip. But for some reason I didn't comprehend exactly what I was doing. I guess it was just one of my many bizarre imaginitive thoughts that I just happened to put into reality and it wasn't until it became reality that I realized how...mm.. not normal it was. (Not that backpacking isn't normal, but, just arriving somewhere new, totally alone with almost nothing... it's hard to explain.)

As the plane landed this morning, I felt absolutely no fear. In fact, I felt at home! Ready to tackle the shuttlebus to the city, and then the entire city itself. It helped that I had a brunch date with Casper, who is leaving NZ today for Fiji. I can't entirely explain the extreme difference between Mar. 11 and now, it's one of those "you just had to be there" things.

However, now that I'm in the city, I'm eager to return to the airport and head home. Don't get me wrong, I'd absolutely love to spend more time in NZ, but my arrival in Auckland in and of itself acted a sort of end to my trip in a way. It made it more absolute that all the things I would like to do in NZ if I had more time most definitely cannot be done. This isn't an entirely bad feeling. It isn't the same as homesickness as I am still enjoying my time here; it is just a readjustment and a knowledge that I will be absolutely ecstatic on the 6th. I keep picturing my arrival in Nashville and it just fills me with joy. I've missed everyone terribly. And I don't mean to sombre this note, but, in all honesty, I think I much more ready to come home because of my mum's current situation. I didn't know how much the goings-on back home would affect my travel, but I think it touched in a very deep way-it changed my emotional journey as I never really let myself let go of my life in the USA and I do believe that in order to fully immerse yourself in the new experiences of travelling, you must be relatively untied. And trust me, folks, I was tied with double knots for very obvious reasons. This, though, I must assume, has taught me some other very profound lessons about life and myself that I will begin figuring out once I get home.

On the 6th. In 8.5 days.


:-D

(I also keep recreating the image of me being able to hug Cadence first thing on her birthday. This also fills me with unspeakable, often tear-jerking joy)

So, ya better believe it, loves. I'm comin' home!

AND I filed my tax return. I'M SO GROWD UP!

^.^